Gone in sixty seconds

I’m mad as hell, or at least I was this past Wednesday. My wife called me at work to inform me that our trusty 1989 Toyota 4WD SR5 4Runner, you know the one, the last of the 2-door models with the removable fiberglass shell, was stolen from her place of work. Yup, stolen. Gone in probably less than sixty seconds. It was a clean heist, no broken glass was found where she had parked it. The bad guy(s) musta used the old slim-jim and pulled the ignition switch out…insert screw driver, twist, and you’re good to go. How do I know about the screwdriver thing? Well, I had a previous truck, a 1981 Toyota 4WD pick-up that almost got away from me by the same technique, but that’s an entirely different story.

Now this truck was loaded with all kinds of off-road goodies. It was also a fun daily-driver. It had the 5-speed manual transmission with a 2-speed transfer case. A K&N intake filtered the air for the 3.0 liter V6 engine, and a Borla stainless-steel cat-back system handled the exhaust gases. There was cylinder head work performed to get the engine running in tip top shape again after suffering a blown head gasket, and part of the work included a new radiator. Tires were the ever popular BFGoodrich 31 x 10.5/15 All Terrain T/As wrapped around American Racing 8.5 x 15 Outlaw II wheels (the non-polished ones). Suspension consisted of Sway-Away torsion bars, and twin Bilstein shocks on Downey Off Road’s double-shock hoop kit up front, and Downey add-a-leafs and single Bilsteins out in back. I recently had a trick Total Chaos bomb-proof, race-ready steering idler arm installed and had the front CV joints serviced and the boots replaced. The factory automatic locking hubs (which I never did like) were replaced with Warn manual locking hubs. A Downey front prerunner bumper and skid plate with three PIAA wide beam off-road driving lights and two Hella fog lights cut into the stock bumper provided plenty of light for both street and desert night driving. The back end was capped off with a custom prerunner rear bumper with a built-in 2″ receiver. A Confer roof rack added additional carrying capacity and a rearward facing auxiliary light on the rack provided illumination when going in reverse. The interior had a bolt-in rollcage that I fortunately never had to try out, and there were the ever present tools, spare fluids, tow strap, a folding shovel, an axe, and I’m sure there were other things in that truck that I’m not recalling at this moment, that were always present for that just-in-case moment. Oh, yeah, there were jumper cables and a roll of duct tape, too, and this is so old school…an electronic compass and a CB radio. All gone.

So what’s this got to do with home automation? Nothing really, but there is an idea that I’ve been cooking up since that dreadful afternoon that does involve a gadget used in our industry that might help in slowing down the bad guy.

Here’s a digital keypad with a relay output. I’m thinking of mounting one in the dash or center console of my other vehicles and having a security PIN code that needs to be entered before starting or driving the vehicle. The relay could be made to perform one or a combination of the events below:

* Install the relay in series with the ENGINE START circuitry so that in addition to having to step on the brake or clutch to start the vehicle, the correct code must also be punched in.

* Initiate a timer so after the engine is running, have the relay shut down the fuel pump if the code is not entered. Let the bad guy drive away for a few minutes and have him come sputtering to a halt.

* Sound the horn continuously after a preset time. Can you imagine the look on the bad guy’s face while he’s waiting at a light next to a cop and the horn starts blaring and he can’t shut it off?

* This might sound destructive and even dangerous but have it deploy the air bag after a short 15 second delay. You might need to change out the driver seat if this happens…

* Saw this in a movie a long time ago, can’t remember the title…bad guy was sitting in the driver’s seat and built in to the steering wheel was a theft-deterrent nozzle that…sand-blasted him. Bad guy’s face was sanded down to the bone in seconds. OK, this would only work if you carried compressed air and a source of clean, dry sand in your vehicle, but you get the general idea.

A paint bomb that sprays the wind shield with water-soluble paint, a high-decibel screamer/siren in the cab, release a pack of fire ants under the seat, hack your old cellphone, stash it in the vehicle and have it call you if the code is not entered…anything’s possible.

Coupled with Lo-Jack and a conventional automotive security system, the use of the digital keypad, with your imagination and desire, may provide an additional measure to help keep your vehicle where you last parked it. A few seconds of hassle may be all it takes to force a would-be thief to go look elsewhere for an easy steal. Any attempt to make things difficult and slow the bad guy down can only be a good thing for you and your precious ride.